Dear Juno, I Miss You

Dear Juno, I Miss You

11th Feb 2019

Dear Sweet Juno,

I'm sorry it's taken me so long to write to you & honor your publicly. 3 Years ago today we had to say Goodbye to you. It was a terrible messy day. 

I still miss you. I wish you were here. I'm grateful for the Daughter you gave me, but Noche is a far cry from the beast you & your mother were. A part of me is so very lonely Juno. So very sad. So very lost that my shadow has gone missing. Who am I w/out my shadow Juno?

I'm still trying to figure out what she is supposed to be teaching me. I haven't figured that one out yet. I love her sure... but I just thought I'd have opened up to her more than I have by now. I honestly cannot believe I haven't.

It still feels like no other Corso is good enough to fill your tracks. Perhaps unreasonable of me to think I'd be so lucky for it to happen to me a 4th time with a Corso, my heart breed. I love her, I do. I just don't feel bonded to her, even after all this time. Maybe I will never be.

Then again I think maybe I just cannot allow myself to open up to her completely knowing that the pain of losing her is inevitable. Which makes me wonder if I will ever be fortunate enough to bond with another Corso the way I was with Bronx, your Mother, and You my sweet Juno.

What kind of life is that to live in such fear of losing my spirit animal that I unconsciously refuse to open up to another one? I'm afraid the loss has made me so fearful I have become callous to bonding to another beast the way I once used to. The way I thought I'd never been able to love you after losing your Mother.

It's been 3 years Juno. I love your daughter, I promise. I just haven't been able to let her into my soul...yet.

I never did thank one of our fans for a very generous gift they sent when you passed. I wasn't able to because it was just too sad.

I want to publicly say thank her now.

Danielle Wilson, thank you so much for such a beautiful gift. I'm sorry I could not say thank you sooner... 3 years sooner.